OK bloggers, I have to be careful what I say as I promised my kids I wouldn't talk about this (in regards to them), so I'm just gonna ask for some general advice on the topic. I'm wondering what it means when kids are "going out" these days? Y'all know I am self admittedly overprotective, but this makes me feel uneasy to say the least. I trust our daughters and am glad that we have an open relationship and that they talk to me about everything (this topic included), but it's the boys and their parents that we've never met that make me wonder if they feel the same way as I do. So...let me hear if you have teenagers in your life what you think about things like this. Or, let me know what it was like when you had your first "going out" experience (how old you were, what did it mean). I am trying to be a good Mom while at the same time instilling boundaries and guidelines for what behavior is acceptable and what is not at this age. And I guess I should confess that I'm soooo not ready for this, but I'm trying to remember what it was like to be their age and that this too is part of their growing up experiences. This has been heavy on my heart lately, so let me hear from you blogger pals...
10 years ago
6 comments:
man, girl, i hear ya. you have two gorgeous daughters. but don't get down and out just yet. going out could mean nothing...i mean, i know when i was that age going out meant we talked on the phone. and that was it. we didn't go out anywhere. except maybe to meet at the water fountain or something like that.
now, i never had my first boyfriend till i was 19. i don't think dating is necessary until after highschool. but that's just me. let us know how it goes. much love to ya, girl. :)
I have no advice to give on this subject except to say....you're right, think about how we were at that age. Going steady or "out" meant sitting together at lunch or talking on the phone. I think as long as you keep the lines of communication open you can't go wrong. I'm SO glad you're gonna have all the experience on this issue when I need it down the road. LOL! Hey...Missy has the same sort of issues going on with Caylin right now...talk to her about it!
Thanks girls! Right now it's just emailing (which I monitor) and at school, but I'm just trying to stay one step ahead of the game and be ready for what's next, LOL! :)
C- I will talk to M, thanks!
Well, I've raised all my kids and am now on a set of grandchildren. I think you can worry and try to figure out what's what all you want to and it won't help anything.
What's important is that you be open and honest with your kids about sex beginning way before they ever get to the stage they might be thinking about it.
Kids need to know so much not just about mechanics but the emotional prices as well. Girls can easily be tricked by boys only thinking of themselves and being used that way is devastating. Despite all the planning and birth control, etc, unplanned pregnancies happen and change lives forever. Even families that plan can have things go wrong that affect the rest of their lives. The list goes on and on of the rammifications of being sexually active, as we adults all know. But many never share them with their kids.
If kids can understand all of the consequences and maybe even see those around them struggling because of those decisions, they can make much better choices for themselves.
we are going through this too but mine are boys and boy are they getting the business (don't do this, do do that, etc.). We just had one "going out" episode with our oldest who was 13 at the time and it was pretty much a non-event. it's been pretty quiet since then thankfully and I'm not looking forward to more of that! I do believe in being honest with them and we are hoping to be the ones to tell them all they need to know at the appropriate time so they don't get strange stories from their friends. Good luck! i know it'll be a different story when it's my daughter's turn at "dating"!
Thank you both Rising Rainbow and Terri...I agree! I am so glad that I have and open and honest relationship with my girls. I have always wanted them to come to me (as well as me coming to them) with issues, concerns or questions and have always given the honest answers. I am hoping and praying that our talks will get us through this and we will all grow from the experience!
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